One of the few downsides of having moved to another town is that one must begin again to form connections and friendships in the new place. This has generally not worried us very much as we are not naturally hugely gregarious people who need a large circle of friends and acquaintances, preferring a more quiet life and a select few good friends.

While I've read that foreigners find Swedish people to be cold and aloof, it has generally not been my experience. Shy and a little reserved than I'm used to for sure, but nothing that can't be overcome with a little patience and understanding. And before I get a flurry of email from irate, unhappy expats, I really DO genuinely feel sorry for those of you who say they have lived in Sweden for X number of years and find that you are lonely and have no friends, or that people are cold. I'm not sure why that is as I don't consider that I do anything in particular, except try and take into consideration the sensibilities and ways of approaching friendship from the perspective of Swedes, rather than assume they will respond to the more outgoing, "in your face" Aussie style of simply bowling up and striking up a conversation. This approach seems to have worked in my old town as I have had no trouble at all finding people I could connect with and a few I consider quite good friends.

So, we will try this method again in Vadstena. It is a small town where people seem to have known each other all of their lives and I had been warned that in such places, strangers take a while to be accepted. I've begun slowly, nodding and greeting neighbours, showing an interest in the running of the apartments and of course, greeting other dog owners (a sure way to meet people!) It is starting to bear fruit as more and more people realise who I am, where I live and I've even had one or two ask me where I came from, recognising that I speak Swedish with a foreign accent. And no, I don't find that rude, they are simply curious and are usually quite impressed that I've learned to speak Swedish so well, coming as I do from the other end of the earth.

I've found a new hairdresser and she has filled me in on various happenings, on the rich cultural life and social outlets in town. She even sent me along to her daughter who works in the castle and tourist centre for more information on some of my questions. So slowly and surely, those spider web of connections are starting and I feel happy.

The major part of our social connection in Nynäshamn came from our association with the boat club. With Lars-Göran helping out with launching plus driving the crane and the tractor, most people knew who we were. There was also the white furry calling card that everyone in town knew and loved. If we needed help with anything, there were always friendly faces around to ask. We lack this at our new boat club as we only arrived a short time ago. This presented us with something of a dilemma, as we have to raise the boat and more importantly, take off the mast, which took five strong men to lift last time. "We'll just have to do it ourselves", said Lars-Göran and that statement did not fill me with happiness, I can tell you!

But first we had to empty the boat, so while the weather was good, we put the house renovations on hold. Instead, we hired a covered trailer from the local garage and drove to the boat club to fill it up with books, mattresses, electronic gear etc to take home for the winter.




If you peep carefully through the pretty autumn foilage, you can see the car by the water. The trailer is bigger than our poor little car and we managed to fill it to the brim. Where did all of this stuff come from? And more worryingly, where are we going to keep it all now?

We had driven the boat into the service pier and while we were there, a steady stream of people came and had a look. They all welcomed us to the club, asked about the boat and several of them accepted our invitation to come on board and take a look. As Fiona is a large boat at this club, we have her well equipped for long distance sailing and she flies both a Swedish and Australian flag, naturally people are a little curious about both her and us.

When it came time to demast her, this curiosity proved to be to our advantage as we had no shortage of offers to show us how the equipment worked and no shortage of helping hands to get the mast off the boat in record time!




We had six men to help us, plus a gaggle of onlookers, all quite fascinated with the size and weight of it. It is by far the heaviest mast in the club and as I rubbed my poor bruised arms, I cursed the owner who had chosen this kind of reinforced profile and then added mast steps to make it even harder to handle! Still, it's off now and it was both easier and faster than we had anticipated.




And once they had helped, they all went off to finish work on their own boats, while I tried to match person to boat so I could recall it all when we meet again. (I have a much better memory for that kind of thing).

I hate seeing a sailing without her mast. It looks so wrong, as though a vital piece of her is missing. But I guess it's because we have usually not demasted her. at the other boat club we stayed in the water all year, which is not an option here. I'll just have to be getting used to it, that's all. One very good thing about bringing it all on land is that we can fully maintain all of the bits and pieces, inspect everything and make sure that nothing is worn. Funnily enough, a shackle came loose from the top of our furlex while we demasted and I was glad that it happened then and not in strong winds with the whole sail out!

But first, the all important lunch break.




The dog knew that I'd packed lunch and while we were all busy trying to get the mast and furlex safely on land, she had been trying her level best to break into the lunch box. You'd think that I never feed her! I've never met such a food fixated animal in my life. Don't be fooled by the size and the fluffy whiteness of her - she's a great white shark in disguise. And don't be fooled by the sunshine either - as you can see from my thick, pure wool jumper, it's quite cold.

In the afternoon, we collected the wagon, wheeled the mast over to the wharf, returned the boat to her buoy and took home all of the boat's equipment. In the morning we were back bright and early, with Lars-Göran going off to make sure that our wagon was ready for next week when the boat comes up and I spent my time cleaning the mast, removing stays and loose bits and pieces (antennas, lights etc) and then carefully applied a layer of paraffin oil to protect it over winter. Once she was all bundled up, it was a matter of waiting in the sunshine with my not-so-helpful assistant while Lars-Göran rounded up the usual suspects to help us get the mast into the mast shed. Wht a beautiful place this is, even if you have to work hard, it's so lovely to stop and look around and enjoy the peace and beauty of the surroundings.




And on the weekend, it was off to Stockholm to meet up with some old friends. We met Ian and Jenny not long after I moved to Sweden. They were also from Adelaide, though we hadn't known each other back then. Jenny and I had a mutual friend who let us know that the other was there. The four of us hit it off straight away and we always enjoyed their company. They were at special events for us - birthday parties, wedding as well as coming out on a few sailing trips as Ian is a keen sailor himself. It was a very sad day for us when they relocated back to Adelaide, which we always knew they would, but which still left us with an emptiness that has not been filled. We have kept in touch, though, and when Jenny wrote that they would be in Stockholm on business for a few days, we immediately made plans to see them.




They were staying in an apartment with a lovely view over to Karlberg Palace and the canal, which kept the boys happy as they watched boats going up and down. We shared a meal and lots of talk and laughter as the time just flew by. It was so good to see them again and we found we could just pick up where we left off, as though they had never been away. I couldn't believe that it had been nearly four years since I'd seen them face to face. It was a fabulous evening full of laughter and shared experience that really made us feel relaxed and was a tonic to my soul. The truth is, a real sharing like this with a good friend is sometimes more powerful than any therapy could be.

It made me realise how thankful I am to have people in my life with whom I really connect - on a friendship, intellectual, and philosophical level. It’s fun to learn from each other, to share with each other and to explore ideas and concepts with each other. Of course, I get to do this all of the time with Lars-Göran, but I’m really thankful to have a few really good friends with whom I can always be real, genuine, and relaxed. I can’t experience that kind of connection with everyone, but when it happens - it’s incredible.